ASIAN DATING

Here`s what happens when you date:

Caucasian women
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

Japanese women
First date: She`s shy, so you don`t get to kiss her at all
Second date: She`ll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties
Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her. Then she will bid you sayonara as that was her fling before getting married to a Japanese man

Chinese women
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive but nothing happens too
Third date: You don`t even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen

Vietnamese girls:
First date: what first date? ... no such thing
Second date: You get married to some girl you`ve never seen before from overseas.
Third date: You divorce, get paid $10,000 from her family (minus a percentage from the guy that set you up) ... but only after you`ve helped them all immigrate to Canada or U.S ... take your pick.

Filipino girls:
First date: It took you forever to get a date with this really hot chick of your dreams (that has a killer bod), but she won`t let you even kiss her.
Second date: She takes you to church and everyone thinks you`re really cute and such a nice guy; but you still haven`t even kissed her ... because she`s a "proper girl"
Third date: You kiss for the first time, but miraculously she ends up pregnant and you have to marry her or her cousins, brothers, uncles, etc ... will cut your penis off , and you keep wondering what happened!? Even more miraculous: the kid IS yours!

Korean girls:
First date: She only went out with you cause she hates the chauvinistic Korean guys that are always after her.
Second date: she flirts with all your friends, but ignores you.
Third date: She`s dumped you and is going out with a black guy that is 3 times your size (in every way). She doesn`t even "remember" who you are, neither do her friends ... so you have no chance of ever going out again with a Korean chick cause they all talk and you were an \1*bleep*\5 anyway.

Thai girls:
First date: you flirted with her while she was giving you a really bad lapdance at Fairbanks.
Second date: you go play pool, see a movie, or meet at a club and she tells you how she is making so little money here, but better than her computer programming job back in Thailand. You`re not really paying attention though because this is the first time you`ve seen her in the light -- and without make-up, the smoky haze, and the influence of alcohol ... she is BUTT ugly!
Third date: she smiles and says hi as she passes you in Fairbanks while she`s on her way over to the table with all the Chinese/Vietnamese gangsters. She`ll spend the rest of the night lap-dancing/smoking/talking with them. You`re afraid to look over cause you think you`ll get shot or jumped in the parking lot. You vow to never go to Fairbanks again, at least till your friend tells you about "this really hot chick he saw there"
And finally

ABC girls:
First date: She met you in a group of people and you were the only Asian guy in the group. In fact you two are the only Asians in the group cause you`re both bananas. People think you two should go out cause you`re both "chinese".
Second date: You go to dim sum, but neither of youcan order because neither of you speak Chinese. The waiters give you really bad service, and you don`t get any specials.
Third date: It doesn`t work out, cause you`re not Asian enough and she goes back out with some white guy she dated 5 years ago. Eventually they get married and the Asian population diminishes! Or she decides she`s a lesbian and goes out with some really Bohemian white chick that`s into alternative music ... and ends up fighting for some social cause for the rest of her life. You marry an Asian girl and wonder what ever happened to your life ... er .... money!